Stand for Change
POSTED AT 11:13 AM

There comes (many) a time when you realise that your life as you know it has irrevocably changed. I think yesterday would probably qualify. Sometimes it's a change for the better, sometimes it's a change for the worst. And sometimes it's just, well, change.

I'm actually pretty glad with the way that I handled things. I think I didn't let myself down, which of course is always the most important thing. I don't know why things always turn out in such a strange topsy turvy manner, but that's just the way it is I guess. I've done my bit and the rest I guess is out of my hands now.

I'm pretty much done with this semester. Only about two and a half weeks to go till the end anyway, and I'm more or less out of money, out of resolve, out of emotion and out of energy. Summer term is just gonna be pretty zombiefied, since I'm gonna be living off campus and therefore pretty isolated from anything that might be going on. That's fine I guess. Get it over and done with and head back home to where the heart is.

Speaking of home, I suspect that a principal motivation behind the composition of National Day songs is to reach out to all those overseas Singaporeans who have left the country for whatever reason and tug at their heart strings for them to return.

2006 NDP (which will always hold be special for me):
My island home
Wherever I may be
I never will forget her
Nor will she forget me

It's more obvious in 2007:
There's no place I'd rather be
You'll always be a part of me
And even though I've roamed the world
It's still my home I long to see

Yea I know the 2007 song is pretty cheesy, but personally I've walked the streets of Cairo, seen the neon signs on ole Broadway, climbed the Great Wall in an hour, seen Hollywood, the sunsets in LA, the London Bridge, Big Ben, The Thames, UK, and still it's true that there's really nowhere else I'd rather be than home.

Looking further into the past makes me cringe though. The 2005 song was terrible, and 2004's rendition of Home mutilated my all-time favourite NDP song. I haven't seen this year's song though, hopefully it's good, since I'm going to be around come August (as if I haven't been for the last 21 years!!)

Mother Tongue
POSTED AT 12:05 AM

It's unfortunate that I'm unable to fluently speak any language that is linked to my heritage. I may be a full Chinese, but I'm actually half Hakka, a quarter Cantonese and a quarter Shanghainese. I speak English, which may be 'native' to Singapore but not my heritage; German, which obviously is even more of a foreign language; and Mandarin, which might be the lingua fraca of China nowadays, but still remains predominantly based on northern Chinese dialects.

So I hope to be able to pick up one of the three languages of my ancestors - Hakka, Cantonese or Shanghainese. The last one is probably the least likely, given that no surviving member of my extended family speaks it. I would probably do best to pin my hopes on Cantonese, since both of my parents are fluent Cantonese speakers. That said, you would think that I'd have picked it up by now, growing up around two Cantonese speakers for the last 21 years.

Informal attempts on my part thus far to pick up dialects on the fly haven't really been successful. I think I'll actually go so far as to sign up for formal lessons this summer when I go home. I want to be able to converse with my grandparents in their native tongue! Not being able to makes me feel inadequate as a grandson.

That, I think, is one of the greatest tragedies of my childhood - not having learnt how to speak any dialects. It's really a pity, especially since my Mom is a fluent speaker of so many dialects. I just never really got any exposure to that side of her; she only speaks English or Mandarin to me.

It makes me sad...
POSTED AT 06:21 AM

I feel sad that I'm sick and I can't get to eat the comfort food that I'm so used to eating when I'm sick.

Finals are next week. I guess what can't kill you can only make you stronger.

A tiger never changes its stripes
POSTED AT 01:32 PM

Try as you may, but I will never forget who I am.