Clothes woes
POSTED AT 12:07 AM

With offers of football at St. Wilfried's and volleyball in school I decided to go shopping today instead! Grad night's coming up of course and I need to get clothes to wear but then again that's not only the sole purpose of going shopping especially when you don't really have much money to buy anything. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it's therapeutic or addictive but it's certainly more than just buying things. Ahh... the wonders of being vague.

Oh I did go to school in the morning to get my documents certified, and met poor Ben there who was getting screwed over for handing in his foms late. Thankfully a couple of my teachers were around who kindly assented to plow through a thick stack of documents and certificates and sign every single one of them for me.

Anyway, I really enjoyed myself today. I didn't have rollicking fun like I would have had at St. Wilfried's or a jolly good time like I would have had in school but it was just great to be walking around, free and easy, looking at shop displays and laughing about pink stuff, even if my feet did hurt after a while and my back was killing me. We really ought to do this again. A lot.

Hmm sound like a zhabo.

Btw, YQ, pro.

Currently I have two of my father's suits available for me to wear on Sunday but one of them is quite small and the other has really short sleeves, because my father is shorter than I am. It doesn't really fit me that well, I think, so perhaps I'll try and borrow a suit from someone else, if Cessy can help me find one. If not, I'll just make do with what I have. I don't think any of my friends would have one, and even if they did they'd probably be wearing it then.

I cleared up a lot of my thoughts today. And I'm glad that things happened the way they happened, because I'm much happier now. Yes I'm in quite a good mood now and I hope I don't lose the magical feeling when I wake up tomorrow.
Feeling: cheerful

Heavenly chicken
POSTED AT 01:05 AM

I haven't been doing my physio exercises since the exams ended, and my laziness has been rewarded by a recurrence of the pain. Well actually it's still a dull ache at the moment but it'll pretty soon graduate to acute pain and then soon I'll become a cripple. So I guess it's time to start exercising again? The doctor said that swimming helps because it can strengthen your legs without any impact, but the thing is for me is that I experience pain when I do the frogstyle kicks underwater, and surely that means that I'm aggravating something there?

The only reason I know this is because we went swimming in yq's condo the other day in his mini pool which is just outside his window and is pretty neat except that the ball we brought along to play in the pool kept bouncing over the walls and downstairs into the car park below. I was trying to do laps which isn't exactly that easy in waist-deep water and it was a reasonably good workout, except, of course, for the pain incurred.

It's time to burn off all the fat accumulated over the exam period. Gotta get into shape for Tekong next year.
Feeling: content

Tequila sunrise
POSTED AT 11:00 PM

It wasn't the best night of my life, by far, but certainly our school's graduation dinner ball was quite a memorable one at least. I was pretty worried about my ill-fitting suit prior to the event itself but as it turned out I guess I was just being too picky.

The girls were gorgeous in their makeup, hair and gowns; in fact, so great was the transformation that I had some difficulty recognising many of them in their dolled-up look. Indeed, the right clothes, hair and makeup can make otherwise unassuming girls look really stunning. The guys... well I guess we all looked pretty typical in our suits.

Food was pretty decent, program was so-so, but I think we all had a lot of fun during the pageant interview session. It's a certain kind of entertainment which lives off and cannot exist without the camaraderie that we've built up over the past two years.

Not that I pretend that we're all very close to each other; surely it's closer to the contrary. But surely, amongst the group of us that spent so much time in school late into the nights at least, whether it was for training, studying or just having fun, you can't deny that familiarity breeds endearment.

In any case I think almost half the time yesterday was spent taking photos. It was more of a photoshoot than a dinner, really, as everyone tried their best to encase their memories and friendships on film or in pixels. True memory lives on in the heart, but of course the visual aid of a photo certainly helps to keep the affection alive.

Post-prom was quite interesting as well. With a couple of friends I went for a nice leisurely stroll along the Esplanade and Fullerton area, before settling down at a nice windy spot by the merlion to enjoy the sea breeze. Under it all I was quite aware that many of these little moments would be the last time I'd have the company of some of these friends, so I was happy just to bask in the glow of the moment.

When everyone decided to start heading back towards the hotel I went to latch on to a couple of other friends who were heading towards some bars to check out the night life there. It was a Sunday night, and everything was pretty much closed, but they managed to find a nice pub to settle in. I didn't really know those guys very well, and felt like an outsider amongst them, so I decided to move on with yq to find a club where people were partying.

It's not a thing that I do usually - in fact it's not a thing that I do at all -
but I thought I was pretty much in control of what I was doing since although it was my first time out like this it certainly wasn't the first time I'd been drinking and I didn't expect to get shitfaced. All empty talk, however, because I got pretty wasted in the end and had to rely on my more sober friends to keep me grounded so I wouldn't do stupid things. Thankfully, at least, I have friends to look out for me when I need them. It still took me half an hour, however, sitting in the hotel lobby to clear my head.

All in all, however, a pretty memorable experience. Pictures soon!
Feeling: tired

Funny... but the joke's not on me this time
POSTED AT 05:57 PM

The whole of today was pretty much spent repaying the huge sleep debt from last night. I tried to get some work done, but I pretty much just fell into the pattern of half an hour of trying to work, half an hour of watching stupid animations online, and one hour of napping.

It's not a nice feeling to be forced into writing all these introspective essays. Well of course it's great in the sense that it makes you do some deep soul searching, and if you can search something out of your soul to write about it, then congratulations on the successful mini-journey of self-discovery.

If you can't, well, then it gets pretty annoying because there's nothing to put down in words at all without sounding fake and contrived, and it's disappointing because somehow you blame it on the fact that you're not in touch with yourself, and of course the impending deadline makes the whole soul-searching process all the more rushed and difficult to do.

I always try to convey a sense of who I truly am, because I believe that that is the essence of submitting a portfolio of yourself to be assessed and judged on you as a person rather than your achievements and results. Of course, when I can't do that then I just try to use the paper qualifications as a timely distraction.
Feeling: uncomfortable

Anagnorisis
POSTED AT 01:18 AM

It is a sobering thought to realise that some things aren't as important to you as you thought they might be.

Perhaps the fact that I'm a self-professed music buff draws validity only in the 'self-professed' segment, because I cannot even write to save my life about the role of music in my life. Or I guess I was pretty much a fool to assume that religion has quite a considerable role in my life when I don't even have a religion. Free spirituality gets rather vague when you try and put it down in words.

But surely it's fallacious to quantify the importance of things to your person through how well you can express yourself on the special bond? While the feeling and depth of emotion might certainly be genuine, the very sincerity and personal nature of it means that it's impossible to convey a sense of what it is like to another party through verbal means.

It's much like how a familiar scent or smell can tear down physical and time constraints and bring you vividly back to a memory of old. You can't explain why or how, but it just happens. And suddenly you find yourself engulfed in a deluge of emotion which seemed to arise from nowhere but could only have come from within. Nostalgia, perhaps, but also longing and sometimes, regret. To me at least, two items can wreck such havoc on my life - music and poetry.

my manhood is cast / Down in the flood of remembrance, I weep like a child for the past

Do you ever get the feeling sometimes that some songs or poems are perfect for someone or a particular situation or memory associated with that person? Upon reading the lines or listening to the notes there's a sudden huge inner resonance within you and perhaps you think that you've arrived at a greater understanding of the bigger picture, but you find that you can't even express what it is that you've understood, you don't even know whether you truly know, but at least you can feel something within you, even if you can't quite place your finger on what it is or why such a reaction has arose.

On the other hand, it's also a delightful thought to realise that some things are more important to you than you thought they might be.

It truly is a magical feeling.
Feeling: blah

Causeway
POSTED AT 10:22 PM

On the way back home from my grandparents' place in Malaysia, I got caught in a massive traffic jam at the causeway. It was pretty much jammed all the way from the Singapore side, ride across the causeway and spilled over to the Malaysia side as well. We arrived at JB at about 4, and only got home at around 6.30.

So I spent more than 3 hours sitting in my father's car, which is quite cranky at the moment. Perhaps it thinks that with age comes the right to throw tantrums. It's almost ten years old already, and the air con keeps knocking itself out every once in the while. Certainly not fun, when you're trapped in a traffic jam and it's raining outside so you can't open the windows and everything starts to fog up inside.

My father bought a baseball bat from Malaysia. I was quite surprised, because he certainly doesn't play baseball or softball, or even cricket. Upon asking, though, he said that it's for him to da3 ren2. Yes, iintroducing the latest security feature of my home. He's probably keeping it by his bedside, and it'll certainly come in handy should any intruder decide to make a house call in the middle of the night. So err.. don't drop in unannounced.

Hopefully the ren2 refers to people, and not...
Feeling: cheerful

plug
POSTED AT 12:04 AM



That would be all.

No. 1 Colour Centre
POSTED AT 07:34 PM

I finally got my photos developed - all 119 of them. And at quite a bargain price too, in my opinion, at 20 cents a copy. I'm quite impressed with the printing shop because there were a couple of photos that turned out too dark because of poor lighting but somehow the shop fixed everything so that everything's fantastic. The photos were taken with my Olympus digicam, but they look pretty much like regular film photos, and that was a pleasant surprise, because I was expecting the photos at least to be somewhat pixelated.

I've been sick the past few days. Sore throat, fever, etc. Thankfully, I have a magical remedy for sore throat sitting in my fridge - a whole jug full of honeyed lemonade. Aha yes thanks for that, appreciate it.

Because I was still getting massive headaches last night, I went down to the neighbourhood polyclinic to see if I needed antibiotics. In the end, it was a total waste of time - an hour's wait, a five minute consultation and no medicine. Well actually the doctor prescribed me four different kinds of medicine. Panadol and lozenges, which I have in abundance at home; antihistamines, which he deemed necessary because I replied 'a little' when he asked if I had runny nose; and cough medicine, for what I have no idea. In the end I declined all the medicine at the counter, and the whole affair was pretty ridiculous. It's experiences like this that make you want to stay at home and self-medicate.
Feeling: lazy

So long, farewell, we'll see you once again
POSTED AT 12:26 AM

Time for holiday, goodbye! I'll see you all when I get back. You know you'll be missed!
Feeling: exuberant

Back
POSTED AT 01:00 AM

Finally, back in Singapore, after five great days.

To all those who were there with me, thanks for a great time. I only hope you all enjoyed yourselves as tremendously as I did.

It was great fun, really. I didn't really buy many things, which is unfortunate, although my father thinks otherwise, since he pretty much financed my shopping endeavours. Still, I went there to enjoy myself rather than to shop, and I think on that point alone the trip was well justified.

Bought some things back for some people. See what you want.

Tired. More tomorrow.
Feeling: happy

Pictures from the trip
POSTED AT 08:36 PM


Xiaoxia, our tour guide there. Looking good after all these months.


The view from the cable car at Ocean Park


Sunset at Ocean Park


YQ and Mich in front of the HK skyline


View from the peak


The same sunset as before


Magnificent view of HK from Kowloon


Another view. If you think it looks good in the photo, it's much better in real life.

Rooted
POSTED AT 11:44 PM

Nowadays, I'm stuck at home doing my essays. Too bad that I decided to leave everything to the last minute, because now I have to pay the price for procrastination and have to get everything done in the space of two days.

In any case, there are many things to look forward to over the next few days! Protag meeting tmr, class party on wed and of course New Year's Eve on friday.

However, in order to prevent any mood spoiling, I do have to get everything settled before going out to enjoy myself, which means that I have to complete an uncommon essay for Chicago by tomorrow, and finish editing the rest of my standard essays.

I wonder where everyone's gone. Nobody seems to be around anymore these days.
Feeling: annoyed

Poto
POSTED AT 12:18 AM

I watched the Phantom of the Opera musical as a kid, and I loved it. It was such a masterpiece - the grandeur of the sets, the stirring music pieces and such a touching storyline.

I pretty much grew up on the soundtrack, listening to it over and over again and replaying the scenes in my head. Even now, after so many years when I've forgotten most of what happened on stage I can still listen to the cd and let my imagination run the stage.

When I heard that they were screening the film version, I was quite excited. Any chance to relive the magic of the musical would certainly be delightful.

Of course, I was under no delusions; the film was never going to live
up to the expectations of the stage version. But I think the producer did a commendable job in making the transition. There were a couple of awkward parts when I believe they inserted new songs and new verses, but other than that, I think it did quite a fair job of capturing the magic which is the phantom of the opera.

Sitting in the cinema and listening to the familiar songs blaring from the speakers, I kept getting goosebumps. These were the songs that I had grown up on - I knew every word, every pause, and even if the actors in the film were incomparable to Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman, I think they were adequate enough to fill the roles they were cast in. Some of the most tender moments were rather diluted by the lead actor, but other than that everything went quite well.

In any case, I can't wait for the play to come back here.
Feeling: listless

DOTC
POSTED AT 02:57 PM

I think NS is the bane of attached guy. Clerks and project assistants notwithstanding, NS can have serious implications on any such relationship.

What NS basically does is that it effectively reduces any relationship to a once-weekly affair. The guys get confined in camp throughout the week, and even if handphones allow at least some form of communication at night, an sms or a call is hardly comparable to any form of face-to-face interaction, isn't it?

Sure, absence may make the heart grow fonder, but I think there's a limit to everything. I'm not suggesting that girls are untrustworthy or anything but when you see your guy once a week, seriously, is he able to fulfill any of your emotional needs and be there when you need him?

It's a long two year process, and of course things can become much, much worse in about 10 months time for all the wrong reasons. If Tekong isn't far enough for you, how's the UK or the US for size?

The good news is, all other 18-year-olds will be suffering together on one tiny island. The bad news is that there are millions of Malaysians/guys out of NS/clerks and project assistants/PSC or SAFOS guys that are free to roam the mainland in the week.

I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this.
Feeling: cold